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When the apps were new, people were excited, and actively using them.
Swiping “yes” on someone didn’t inspire the same excited queasiness that asking someone out in person does, but there was a fraction of that feeling when a match or a message popped up.
But in the past year or so, I’ve felt the gears slowly winding down, like a toy on the dregs of its batteries.
I feel less motivated to message people, I get fewer messages from others than I used to, and the exchanges I do have tend to fizzle out before they become dates. “I’m going to project a really bleak theory on you,” Fetters says.
And while no one is denying the existence of fuckboys, I hear far more complaints from people who are trying to find relationships, or looking to casually date, who just find that it’s not working, or that it’s much harder than they expected.“I think the whole selling point with dating apps is ‘Oh, it’s so easy to find someone,’ and now that I’ve tried it, I’ve realized that’s actually not the case at all,” says my friend Ashley Fetters, a 26-year-old straight woman who is an editor at in New York City.
But “it really is sifting through a lot of crap to be able to find somebody.”Sales’s article focused heavily on the negative effects of easy, on-demand sex that hookup culture prizes and dating apps readily provide.“And I think it’s really hit a low point.”Whenever using a technology makes people unhappy, the question is always: Is it the technology’s fault, or is it ours?Is Twitter terrible, or is it just a platform terrible people have taken advantage of?This tension may lead to people walking a middle path—lingering on the apps while not actively using them much.I can feel myself half-assing it sometimes, for just this reason.