Dating a nice girl
Pompey: In a controlled experiment I might appear to be a man who makes his bed in the morning, doesn't consider a decorative pillow to be the work of the devil, and doesn't wait until all 57 pairs of socks are dirty before finally doing laundry. The truth is, no matter how controlled an experiment, there is always room for error.I don't necessarily think the experiment is that far off.Once a man comes to terms with why he is making poor choices with women and what he truly wants in women instead, he can take active steps toward making the right decisions for himself.Do you agree that deep down, men really do prefer nice women?These are women who play by their own rules and will try just about anything once.In a world where many men increasingly feel that they are living a monotonous life with an overwhelming number of rules and restrictions, this can be incredibly appealing, even if it is nothing more than a fantasy.Sometimes even science can't convince me: men find caring women (nice girls) more attractive and sexually alluring than their aloof (bad girl) counterparts, according to research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. In three separate studies, researchers discovered that men preferred women who seemed "responsive" to their needs, favoring them above women who were less supportive in initial encounters.
The tough part is, it's really hard to sort these guys from the douches with acting skills. But usually, the nice guy — nay, the GOOD guy —is someone you already know, who sneaks up on you. You'd be amazed how much simpler it is to plan things from birthday parties to Saturday night movies when your dude is responsive, available, and not likely to flake at the last minute with a bizarre excuse.Being told you should like a nice guy who you don't find attractive is the literal worst. I would also advise against dating the "nice" guy: the guy who isn't really nice, but rather is desperate. You are a girl, and nearby, so that makes you Perfect For Him.I have been on 11 dates (11 DATES) with a guy I couldn't bring myself to kiss more recently than I want to admit because 1) he was really interested, 2) I wasn't into anyone else was at the time, and 3) I was getting so much pressure from family and friends to just "date a nice guy already," after several weird situations with jerks that I wanted to really try with this one. He will, without much concern for your feelings on the matter, overwhelm you with needy gestures to win your heart, and probably call you a bitch when you finally lay it out for him that you just don't feel the same.That guy actually was a nice guy — our personalities were just not a fit — but I remembered doing a sneaky sniff test of his shirt and not. He also doesn't seem aware that women need to be attracted to him too, or he'd stop letting his mom cut his hair. This guy is a probably a friend of a friend who randomly took his shirt off at group hang-out indoors in the wintertime while making eye contact with you and you felt so awkward about it that you had to fade out from the entire group. The sweet spot is the GOOD guy: the guy who will refrain from huge romantic gestures until he knows you well enough to include an inside joke on the card that comes with the flowers. Dating these guys (provided you're attracted to them, and it's funny how that attraction can sneak up on you), is a happy, healthy, life-affirming experience.He's not infatuated with you (or maybe he is, but that's only part of it); he's in like with you. Not that you shouldn't already know your worth, but dating a good guy affirms what you know: you're amazing, you deserve to be treated well, and that love should feel good.