Dating a pregnancy after miscarriage asiandating review
The following is my most recent experience with burying my miscarried child, specific to the state of Arizona, and advice for anyone going through the same thing. Tell every nurse who comes to your bedside for any purpose.
Once you arrive at the hospital for the D&C, tell every single medical professional you encounter at the hospital that you want the baby’s remains returned to you for burial. Read page of paperwork given to you to sign to make sure that you’re not giving them permission to dispose of the baby’s body as medical waste (and if you find paperwork with that clause, cross it out and write in the margin that you want the baby’s remains returned to you for burial – and initial it).
Thankfully we only encountered confusion, but I’ve heard stories from other parents who were treated very callously when they requested their baby’s remains.
“They’re just products of conception.” “It’s not really a baby.” “It’s against the law to release medical waste.” None of those statements are true.
We had the option to have the remains released with or without preservative.
( I don’t think our funeral home had a preference but that may be something to check on with your funeral home.) We had said that preservative was fine but for some reason the pathology department chose not to use it.
We had to give them a copy of the permit for their records.
(We had the option to keep Francis’ remains at home and bring them to the cemetery ourselves the next day, but we asked the funeral home if they could hold them for us instead, and they agreed.)Note: Our experience in Fargo was fairly similar to the above, except that Noel’s remains were released directly to the funeral home from the hospital, thus avoiding the need to get a disposition-transit permit or similar.
Update 11/14/15: I became pregnant again in August 2015; unfortunately, at my 12 week appointment on 10/28/15 it was discovered that we had lost another child — our baby, whom we named Jude, had no heartbeat. Our experience with Jude’s loss, delivery, and burial was much the same as Francis’, with two notable exceptions.
One of the forms asked my purpose for the remains, and I wrote, “Burial of my child.” I was determined that everyone who read that paperwork would know that we recognized our baby for who s/he was — a valuable, beloved child.
Per the state of Arizona, part of the paperwork we filled out at the hospital included a Fetal Death Certificate.
If you will undergo a D&C, you need to insist that the baby’s remains be returned to you and released to either you, your husband, or a local funeral home.
Unfortunately, this is not an easy process simply because the request is rare.