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It is understood that if I have feelings about what the other does, these are my feelings and I have to handle them as best I can. It is each being committed to her or his own process, sharing that process, and respecting the process of the others.Big shout out here to our handy friends at the Love is not an exclusive relationship; love is a quality and depth of being.Healthy relationships imply supporting each other, yet these is no focus upon “fixing” the other person.Each person’s process is respected and it is recognized that each must do what he or she must.This relationship with the self is a source of pleasure and expansion and needs time and nurturing in order to grow.
If one does not have a relationship with the self, it is truly impossible to have a living process (healthy) relationship; it will not be possible to be honest with the “other” if one is not in contact with oneself.
A fifth relationship in healthy relationships is the actual relationship that exists between the two people.
It is dependent upon the previous four having been developed, maintained, and “cleaned up” if necessary.
When relationships are based on the expectation that a partner should fill our inner emptiness, it is like offering an empty cup to our partner with the expectation that the partner should fill our empty cup – instead of overflowing from our inner being and filling our cup from within ourselves.
The difference between acting out of our inner being, from our inner source of love, and acting out of our inner emptiness, is like the difference between acting out of light and darkness.