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when he says the problem with his “brakes” has been there “all my life”).Now, of course, this is probably more of an instance of But it’s a start.Rather, a focus on the core “dynamics” of the dysfunctional “style”.It’s the person’s interaction “style” itself that is the the problem, so that’s where the attention should be.There are many other issues illustrated by this case, all of which merit further discussion, and some of which I’ll address again next week before moving on to a new subjectf.But one thing I simply must point out is the axiom I’ve mentioned time and time again about encounters with character-impaired people whether or not those encounters occur within a formal therapeutic context: change, if it is to ever actually take place, ALWAYS occurs in the here-and-now.
You seemed to do whatever you had to do to get what you wanted without care for whom you hurt, and you ended up losing in some way. And, of course, you know that I’m not suggesting you need to change everything about yourself.
Then, I will give your therapist a copy of my report. You see, Tom never minded others seeing him as somewhat overconfident or even haughty, nor did he care that much about whether others had a problem with him and the way he was (as attested to in his self-statements about his liking of the person he is).
As we have discussed this at length before, perhaps we’d better get on with my assessment. At your age, that won’t be easy, but I think that’s what you’ll need to do. THERAPIST: Mostly, you lack good “brakes.” Also, you tend to think too much of yourself, and you tend to pay too little heed to others in your life and their needs. T: I think you understand that when you want something, or want to do something, you don’t hesitate or stop and think about it first. You don’t back-up, back-off, or give-in when you should. CLIENT: I just don’t see how you could be so sure after just meeting me. I mean, you’re saying some pretty heavy things here. If you don’t work on correcting those things, you’ll keep hurting people and making a mess of your relationships. “Tom” got really riled that I had the audacity to think I had him pegged.
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