Each Deep Date is another chance to practice becoming more and more yourself. Within seconds, you know you’re not into them, and you never will be. You have to go through the motions with someone you already know you’re going nowhere with. Sometimes rejecting them seems like the only option.
If you only have one date, the date you’re on right now IS the relationship. For one, you have to actively create the date, moment by moment, rather than waiting for the date to happen to you. Real talk is risky, unpredictable, and sometimes even awkward! Answer these questions, and you give someone a window into your world. It goes without saying that game playing is the opposite of being real.Trying to be a tiger in bed to convince him to marry you will only piss him off. Work on yourself: Before a man can see you as a wife, you need to see yourself as one, package yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally, academically, financially and otherwise.I’m not saying you should be a millionaire, but you must position yourself to be any man’s dream.The relationship happens now, not later, because all you ever have with anyone is the present moment. You could, on your one and only date, get lit up by the excitement of getting to know someone, learn new things about yourself, be seen and felt and understood, play, share affection, or pleasure, grow as a relational being, make a lasting difference in the other person’s life, challenge yourself, take new risks, fall in love. You can’t future trip, because there’s no future to trip about. If you’re reading this, you’ve already had enough small talk for one lifetime. Actually, it doesn’t go without saying, which is why I’m saying it. They’re manipulative and disingenuous and destructive of intimacy.That means you’re not making a good impression for later. If you’re worried that showing your real self will scare the other person away, go ahead and scare them away. Dating for partnership and Deep Dating follow different trajectories. Luckily, it’s easy to get from small talk to real talk. You’ve only ever played such games because you didn’t know what else to do. Instead of playing games, talk about what’s making you want to.