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But from her actions with extended family and mutual friends, it seems like every time you ask her for the money it gives her an opportunity to play out a scene where She Is The Good One Who Stayed Close (And Achieved $ucce$$) and You Are The Bad One Who Left (And Who Is Petty About Money).
She’s being a jerk to you and using a manipulation tactic called triangulation to get others to be a jerk to you – you expend energy trying to convince them, they talk to her, she talks to them, she gets more material to mess with you. You took your sister at her word that she’d pay you back, you did what you could to make her visit pleasant (despite her rude and entitled behavior), and you’ve only asked for what she promised you.
Everything is about her even when she literally lit the kitchen on fire – really tho, big fire (really long story).
Apparently it’s so hard for her to be home all day with nothing to do but refuses to do anything by herself (except lighting the kitchen on fire – that was all her).
Now that she’s left she won’t pay us back, is dramatically bad mouthing me to all our family – who in turn are sending me harassing emails, says I’m bullying her ect. If you can’t pay back now lets determine a timeline/payment plan. We didn’t even ask her to pay the apartment deposit that we obviously lost because of the fire she started (possibly/likely on purpose). It’s been 6 months since she left and we really need the money.
And she will not respond to any of my emails (they are actually quite nice). I’m at a loss about what to do and honestly devastated that one of my closest relationships has been ruined but also that she’s ruining a lot of my other family relationships which used to be really important to me.
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Well cue a few months after the move she informs me she just booked her tickets and is coming for 10 WEEKS and can’t wait to STAY WITH US!
She’s a passive aggressive bitch and I’m stressed to the max. She thought I’d be going with her (but not the new hubs) Ugh. Those 2 weeks were all about her and quite frankly stressful/not fun at all.
She takes up all my additional time and is so HORRIBLE even my new burgeoning friends notice how mean she is to me. In hindsight it was like she took every script out of our mother/family’s emotionally abusive playbook and threw it at me and I should have kicked her out. She kept asking my husband and I to pay for things on our card because “hey we’re booking together it’s easier to just do it at once” and she’d pay us back.
She’s one year older than me but we always hung around together and went to the same college ect.
Long story short, she’s always been a high achiever but also immature and VERY emotional/needy.