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One time I did mention it to a girl I was seeing and she suggested I talk to someone, but I thought ‘what’s the point of that?
“There’s something in that process of violation that’s a bit like losing a fight – you feel like you were too weak, you lost control of your own body, you should have fought back.
Alisdair, now 49 and the director of a recruitment company, was heavily involved with the church in his first year at university but found unwanted advances from senior figures in it left him wary of sexual contact for years.
“After what happened I didn’t know how to deal with anything further than kissing.
He had to travel down to a group in Wiltshire, which has since been closed, to talk to men with similar stories.
Understanding that he wasn’t alone was a key moment in coming to terms with what had happened to him and it was then, he says, that he decided to set up a similar group of his own in Manchester.