My friend is dating my ex girlfriend
Trust that your dude is with you because he likes you and you're awesome, not because he's biding his time until your friend takes him back.Trust that your friend is happy you've found someone you dig, not plotting to sabotage your love.If they choose to share details with you, that's fine — you don't need to stick your fingers in your ears, unless an overt comparison is being made (see No. Your relationship and theirs are separate things, and you don't need to know anything they don't care to tell you. If someone seriously mistreated your friend (we're talking emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, lying, stealing, etc.), don't date him, no matter how awesome his butt looks in jeans.This has nothing to do with some kind of Eternal Dibs situation, and everything to do with the fact that, by choosing to build a relationship with someone who treated her horribly, you're telling your friend you don't think what he did to her was all that bad. There are lots of people out there who are just as good in bed and haven't traumatized anyone you care about.They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!
If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are 4. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.Don't do this ever, but especially not if his last girlfriend is the person you're going rock climbing with Sunday.The reverse is also true; no matter how much you love discussing your dude with your besties, his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life. It's OK to come to your partner for advice if you're arguing with your friend, or vice versa, but absolutely resist the urge to belittle or insult one of them to the other.Save it for your diary or for anyone who didn't date him. This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you'll find a sympathetic ear.