Online dating tips for men first message
You know your way around a camera, you’re an excellent dancer, you play classical guitar, you have awesome tattoos, you make a killer chicken almondine.
Personally, at the end of this I like to say something along the lines of “…and I’m modest too! No, But Seriously: You drop the slightly cocky facade to be real: she seems like a cool person.
Much like in the real world, first impressions count for everything; in online dating, women have even way of contacting someone: the wink, poke, nudge, smile, flirt function.
Just about every online dating site out there has some variation on this. Too many people spend too much time focusing on one particular girl at a time, developing an online version of one-itis.
You are approaching her almost as though you are auditioning her; approaching her as though you are begging for her attention is just going to make you look like a loser. Now, as for the structure: The Subject Line: The subject line is the first line of defense you have to get past.
Women are usually outnumbered by a factor of 10 at least and are being messaged all the time.
Did I mention that you’re talking about her physical appearance? She’s attractive to you because of something about who she is, not just how she looks.
You’re Interested In Finding Out More About Her: You want to know if she’s as interesting and attractive as she is in her profile. Acknowledge The Obvious: You know damn good and well that you’re the 10,000th person to message her. About You: This is where you introduce/brag about yourself in miniature.
In one paragraph, describe a little about you that makes special.
In theory, it is supposed to be a cute and flirty way to tell someone that you’re interested in them, get them to check out your profile and maybe send you a message. They expend time and energy waiting checking her activity dates, wondering if she got that message, if he should send a second one… Approaching women out in the world is like spear-fishing – one at a time.
In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message A proper first contact message is convoluted; you want to set certain expectations and convey an attractive image of yourself. It sounds a little cold-blooded and impersonal, but you’re going to want to have a stock first message. Treat approaching women on online dating sites should be like dynamite fishing; you want to toss your messages out there and see what floats to the surface.
Why You’re Contacting Her: You aren’t going to mention anything about her physical appearance.
If you weren’t attracted to her, you wouldn’t be writing to her in the first place, and it sounds like a pick-up line at best.