It can be helpful to look at the initial period of dating as it’s own phase with its own specific qualities.
MORE: Exactly Why Men Withdraw From Relationships For example, in the beginning, both of you might feel a lot of excitement and also an undercurrent of fearful restlessness.
He feels secure and he feels the current relationship dynamic is secure.
This is around the time where things are starting to get comfortable: You make plans regularly, you’re in contact more frequently and maybe it even seems a relationship seems just around the corner. What will determine if you actually If you have a guy who is not open to getting into a relationship with you, a scenario like this might play out: You might start getting really excited by this prospect that you and this guy will have a relationship, but this particular guy has specifically said he doesn’t want a relationship.
He would text me things like, ‘I miss you’ and ‘Can’t wait to see you’ and on our second date he said he ‘never liked a girl so much after only two dates’. All this was great, but then he started to shift and lately has been acting really shady- he cancels on me last minute, he’s been acting distant, and I’m just getting weird vibes.
We hit it off right away and during the first few weeks, he seemed super into me.
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The excitement is on thinking about all the things they like about you.
The fear is rooted in insecurities: What if they don’t like me as much as I like them?
For instance, if a guy says something like “I like you so much” or whatever during the early phases, he very well might mean it, but he also wants to see how you’ll react.
Specifically, he’s checking to see if you’ll say that you feel the same way.