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” And why do they attempt to make contact with issues that normal people would have resolved for the narcissist to then disappear again?The answer, truly, is simply because narcissists are empty voids.They need narcissistic supply to emotionally exist.They need to know that they are affecting someone, or someone hasn’t got over them, and that this person is at their beck and call, and that they are “captured” as a future feed if necessary. They tend to keep multiple sources of supply as backup, the same way crocodiles store pieces of meat under rocks when other food supplies fall low. The worst insult possible to a narcissist is when a person creates their own up-levelling, truly detaches and reaches the healed point of: “You Are Not My Reality.” There is no greater threat to the narcissist’s ego than being rendered Because the narcissist has no ability to generate, validate or sustain his or her own emotional well-being, people opting out of the narcissist’s stage play confirm the narcissist’s greatest terror – that he or she is unlovable, abandoned and this fails, and produces results that are far from effective in granting the narcissist comfort, connection and stability – the narcissist’s twisted perceptions then create the ultimate devaluation that the narcissist’s projected wounds have been playing out all along.If this is not the case, it is because the narcissist still wants something from you – possessions, money, status, contacts or sex because other sources are momentarily low.Many people over the years have stated about the narcissists in their life, “Why doesn’t he or she leave me alone? ” Then of course, many people have been incessantly checking their emails, phones and answering machines that the narcissist will contact them.
Ultimately this is the best way to: a) stop feeding the narcissist, and allowing yourself to be a target to be hoovered, and b) be free of the obsession about whether or not any contact will occur, and c) not react in any shape or form if hoovering does happen.
Rather than acquiesce to the pressure of the reactions of those around them – in order to self-reflect and reform – they create greater defences and bigger self-maladaptation instead.
The narcissist’s False Self cannot stand being held under scrutiny, because it is above reproach.
Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.“Hoovering” is the term used to describe a narcissist trying to re-connect with you after a time of separation.
Often, this separation occurs after a time of silence between you and the narcissist.